We all have opinions. We're only human. However some thoughts we keep to ourselves. We keep certain thoughts to ourselves so we don't hurt others, right? Well not everyone does. Unfortunately.
I always expressed how I thought Nora was a little different. People would laugh and say: "Well look at her parents" etc... Yeah I get it. I laughed it off too. For awhile I thought the same thing.
When it came to this point- when the doctor recommended a referral be sent to the Kelberman Center, I shared it with a small handful of people. I shared with my close family and people who I felt I was close too. I shared that Nora was possibly on the Autism Spectrum.
Once we were tested for early intervention...it is highly likely that Nora is on the autism spectrum.
Some days I still can't wrap my head around it. My career for the last ten years has been working with people with disabilities. Long before Nora: My favorite and most rewarding job I had was when I was twenty two years old working as a teacher's aide in an autism elementary classroom. I have books written by autistic young adults on my book shelf. I am fascinated by this disorder. Always have been.
Did God give me Nora because of this? Everything happens for a reason, they say.
Sorry, I went off on a tangent.
Back to we are only humans with opinions-
What I was getting at, is that there are people telling me that I'm wrong. People are telling me doctors and clinicians are wrong. They said it's in my head. That I'm paranoid because of the field I work in. People are telling me she will grow out of it. I was told the early intervention program is just saying she is on the spectrum to get my money. What the fuck? Who says that? What am I supposed to say when people say that shit to me? I get quiet. Uncomfortable. Annoyed. Maybe at the diagnostic evaluation they will tell me she will grow out of it. I don't know what to think. It's already a lot to process, and now I'm trying to process other people's opinions. This past week has been full of people expressing their opinions to me. I don't want to say I feel confused or mad, I just feel kind of blank about the whole thing. Neutral. Okay.
You feel me?
Comments